Not Trusting Yourself

Many people do not trust themselves. They know, from hard experience, that they make bad decisions for themselves.

Either they know what the good decision is, and due to a lack of discipline or because of some kind of addiction or compulsion, they willingly make the bad decision, on purpose, to hurt themselves.

Or, they are confused. And genuinely do not know which decision to make. They cannot tell what is good, and what is bad. Or another way to see it - what is good, and what is evil.

What will help you? And what will hurt you?

In this way, many people hurt themselves, and due to confusion and a lack of being in touch with themselves, they do not even FEEL how bad they feel. They do not even know how much they hurt.

This is a profound, profound, and intense stupidity. To be stupid about yourself is a powerful black magic.

How can you not know what is good for you? Does the flower or fox ever “not know” what is good for them? They know exactly how much water, nutrition, rest, etc. they need. They know, inherently who or what is friend or foe.

They know via instinct how to get to the things that will lead to a long, healthy life. And avoid as much as possible any vector of disease, and immediate or long-term harm.

In other words, what is “evil” to them. What ends life. What brings death, destruction, chaos, disorder, and a lack of trust.

Birds and animals, plants and insects - they all have an inherent trust in life. They do not doubt that this planet has enough for them or that they belong here or that they are “good.” They almost never get addicted to anything that harms them.

Ending your own life early, seeking disease, seeking destruction, chaos, disorder, and liking and preferring to feel afraid, to not trust, to doubt your place on Earth and if there is enough for you is inherently evil.

It brings the opposite of a long, healthy life.

And this is the impulse - evil is the impulse - that causes humans to mistrust themselves. They are not SURE that they know what is best for themselves. And are not even sure WHAT IS good, who they are, and how to take care of themselves.

This is truly dumb and evil. Evil is often unintelligent, since it is a very low vibration.

And not being sure who you are is clearly very evil.

An orangutan never takes care of itself as if it were a desert cactus. A desert cactus is never in doubt of precisely the amount of water, soil, or sunlight it needs. It even knows when one drop of water is too much. One second of sunlight is too much. It knows exactly who it is and what it needs, and taking care of itself is never an issue.

Only for humans do we have issues. We have real issues.

For one, many humans treat themselves like robots, rather than humans. They also put themselves in the position of mature adult with the responsibilities of an initiated person, when in fact it is very clear that while they are chronologically and adult or physically adult-looking, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and mentally they are still children.

They have not been initiated. They are NOT to be trusted. A child is not supposed to know that trash is “dirty.” A child is not supposed to know about physical harm, evils such as war. A child is supposed to be innocent. This is the natural order of things.

An initiated adult is “supposed” to know about trash, war, and all kinds of evil. And is supposed to protect children until it is time for their initiation.

We have a lot of children running around, purporting to be adults. This is already evil. However, since they are children, they do not “know” evil.

And as a result, it is very hard for them to make decisions for themselves. Usually, a parent makes decisions for their children. The idea is that they have been initiated, so they know the difference between good and evil. And they know what is “best” for their child, even more than the child can make the decision for themselves.

The so-called adults running around, doubting themselves, have no parents to make decisions for them. It’s like the three-year old is supposed to make the decisions for the household. Do you see how this is evil?

There is a kind of dumbness or stupidity around what is good and what is evil. It cannot be sensed. Adults cannot tell what is good or bad for them.

And rather than using their intuitions, which can always tell what is good and evil, they resort to using their minds. Which have been hijacked.

I can MAKE a child cry for a certain cereal brand. I can MAKE a child distracted and hyper focused on balloons or something bright and colorful while I do something else on the back end.

Children are very easy to manipulate and control. And so are the minds of adults. Especially those minds of the so-called adults who have not been initiated.

If you want to trust yourself, you will have to stop relying on your mind. You will have to give up control and start developing your ability to sense your intuition.

It is functioning, don’t worry about it. There is nothing to “open” or grow over there. It is merely a matter of uncovering it. To stop “thinking over it.”

In which case, it is also important to allow yourself to recognize evil. What brings chaos and destruction? What ends your life early?

A jealous mother, a jealous friend, a workplace environment that causes stress, the idea of “work” in general - these are all sources of evil. These all bring an early end to your life. These are vectors of low vibrational frequencies that prey on your mind, and keep you from being able to “feel yourself” or sense your intuition.

Vectors of evil clearly obstruct the healing journey. So if you think you are on a “healing journey,” but you cannot tell what is good for you or bad for you. Or you cannot tell what the evil vectors in your life are - then what are you doing?

What is this “healing journey” you are on?

It would be very easily to have a long, peaceful life if surrounded by adults who not only trusted themselves, but as a result were trustworthy. If you yourself are not trustworthy - if you do not even trust yourself - then you are certainly the problem.

Stop looking external to you. It is not the corporations, trash in the ocean, boyfriend who will not heal, mother who will not see you, etc. YOU are the untrustworthy one. And as a result, you are creating an evil vector in society.

I ask you to be brave, and make the decisions for yourself that are good for you. To do this, you have to even know who you really are. And no, you are not your job nor your family identity. The task I’m asking you to undertake is the hero’s journey, which requires going deep into the areas of fear and evil that you have avoided your whole life up until now.

The hero’s journey is also the healing journey. Without death and rebirth. Without a re-prioritization of being your true self at cost to all the other aspects of your previous life, made by decisions from your traumatized, ignorant 3-year old self. Without sacrificing and letting go of all of this evil in your life, you cannot be a trustworthy person.